Our Favorite Funny Parenting Quotes

Funny Parenting Quotes

“Yes, you have to wear underwear.”

“Can somebody please get the underwear away from the dog!?”

“Please don’t use the same piece of toilet paper to wipe then blow your nose.”

“The floor vent is NOT a toilet.”

“Is that marker on your face or are you bleeding?”

So, that’s my week.

Needless to say, I’m looking for a little parenting inspiration.

Here, we’ve compiled some of our favorite funny parenting quotes that remind us that, if nothing else, we’re all in this together.

funny parenting quote ray romano

 

“I don’t know what’s more exhausting about parenting: the getting up early or the acting like you know what you are doing.”

—Jim Gaffigan, comedian

 

“Parenting is not for sissies. You have to sacrifice and grow up.”

-Jillian Michaels, trainer/celebrity

 

“Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six children, and no theories.”

-John Wilmot, writer/poet

 

“When my avocados go bad, I feel like I’ll never be a good mother and get noticeably distraught.”

-Chrissy Teigen, model

 

funny parenting quote jerry seinfeld

 

“My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first one being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.”

-Erma Bombeck, writer

 

“If you have never been hated by your child, you have never been a parent.”

-Bette Davis

 

“We’re always bluffing, pretending we know best, when most of the time we’re just praying we won’t screw up too badly.”

– Jodi Picoult, author

 

“Having one child makes you a parent; having two you are a referee.”

-David Frost, journalist

 

But even after cleaning cherry juice off the couch and wondering how long that corn dog bite has been under the car seat, deep down I know that someday very soon, I’m going to miss this.

funny parenting quote anna quindlen

 

 “Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.”

-Robert Brault, author

 

Can’t get enough of the funny quotes? Check out some our all-time favorite Dr. Seuss quotes.

And if you liked this post, you might also enjoy “Rising from the Trenches of Early Motherhood.”

 

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